The life..

Im getting better and better.. =)
Photos will tell you..

But then..
Im still miss you that much.. =)

Going to start a new chapter of my life?

Well..
We'd been separated for 1 month plus.. almost two months..
Im still missing him badly..
=(

One month more will reach our first anniversary..
But i know, i have no chance to celebrate with you.. =(
I still wish you will come back to me..


Last week onward..
The way you treated me start changing..
I felt shocked...
Because this time imma going to let you go. but suddenly your changes make me stop..

Today is the happiest day for me after we broke up for a month..
Met you early in the morning..
A warm hug wake me up from dream..
We went to club to have a swim..
Breakfast together, buy ingredient for lunch together..
The thing you did for me that i cant believe was you cooked for me..
After we broke up, i thought we dont have such chance can be so close with each other..

Im so happy and feel thankful.. <3 p="">
Dear god, please do give us another chance to get back together..
I know we worth it!

God bless us!

One step closer

We always say time can heal the scar of love..
When we are in love, we feel the happiness..
When we wake from the dream, we feel the pain..

Love makes us happy, but it makes us sad as well..
Anyway, people still needs love..
No one can live without love..

Love can be many types..
But today i want to talk about couple love..

I felt that, we get one step closer..
I dont know how did you feel?

Indeed, i'm not that kind of people will put down someone i really love that easy..
I will try my best to get back him..
I dont care what is the end.. As long as i show him i love him..
Let him knows..
Im worth for him to love..

Today we went out together..
Although there's too many things, i wanted to do with you..
but end up..
I have no such courage..

When you hold my hand crossed the road together..
Im not willing to let it off..
I want to hold as tight as i can..
But im afraid..=(

I missed so many times..
I wish i could hug you when we're taking escalator..
I wish i could kiss you in sudden..
I wish i could feel the secure that you always give it to me..
I wish we can go back to the times we're so in love with each other..
=(

Can i use one of my birthday wishes in advance?
I wish i can get back you..

I know..
We cant make thing go quickly..
Because it might turn up to be worst than before..
So, i let it moves smoothly and naturally..

At least, we hugged.. we kissed..
Im satisfied..
Thank you.. =)

You didnt reject me..
You're still willing..
=)
Appreciate it a lot!!

Love is like planting..
You have to put some water, let it get some sunshine and carbon dioxide..
Then, it will grow nicely.. =)
It takes time of course..

Im waiting our love gets a good ending..

GOD BLESS US!

I miss you badly..

On 26th January
You keep saying negative words to me..
You want me not to have any hope on you..
But for me...
You keep pushing me away..
I will just keep approaching you..

I'm not that easy to leave someone that I truly love..
I know now you don't want any relationship..
But yourself and I know it clearly..
The reason for you to leave me is her..
I really can't understand..
Why last time you can love so much but not now?
Why can you think back of her and fall on her again?

If the reason for you to leave me is my attitude..
I'm willing to change for you..
Why don't you tell me early and I can ensure I will change for you...
If you say I change to what you want is not who am I already..
I will just tell you..
I am willing to change for the one that I love the most..
My changes will avoid many misunderstanding..
Then.. We won't break up..
But I think is already too late for us...

You said: you've thinking of being together again..
But why you give up again?
Why don't you just give another chance to us?
I know..
Now you don't love me as much as you did last time?
But I believe.. You still can make it.. If you willing to give the chance to us..
I promise I will change for you..
What I change for you.. It is still me..
I am who I am..
I'm willing..

Yesterday you went Singapore with eldest sis and mum..
Went there to visit second sis..
I do miss you a lot..
Super lot..

Today.. Sunday..
Totally no message from you..
I wanna text you..
But I don't dare..
Scare you feel annoying..
Do you miss me?
I miss you so much...

I think I'm still sick..
Sensitive nose..
Fever..
Dying very soon.. :(

In your phone, my name already changed..
Then, I have to change mine as well.


Can you just come back to me?
Give us another chance..? :'(

I love you..

Before n After

You have no strength to love me anymore..

NOW
You said: you need to act when you're together with me because afraid of me..

LAST TIME
You said: you can be yourself when you're together with me because you can do anything you like..

NOW
You won't give me any surprise..

LAST TIME
You always gave me surprise..

NOW
You won't have any strength come to me anymore..

LAST TIME
You will do your best for me..

NOW
You don't love me anymore..

LAST TIME
You love me so much..

NOW
I am an abandoned kid..

LAST TIME
I was a precious princess..

NOW
I should try to put you down..

LAST TIME
I don't even have one second that want to leave you..

NOW
I am all alone

LAST TIME
I had you..

NOW
I miss you

LAST TIME
We missed each other every seconds every minutes..

NOW
I lost you..........................................................

Trip..

14 Jan 2013 was the first valentine day of the year.
It calls Diary Valentine..
Less than one month, the actual valentine will be there..
14 February..
Usually, this Valentine day will be celebrate by most of the couples..
I'm wondering..
Who will celebrate with me?

Last year, i got few gifts from admires..
Included you as well..
You gave me a box of chocolate..
Chocolate is the first choice of valentine present..
For me, chocolate stands for admire, you like me.. =)
Im so happy at that time..

14 Jan 2013..
We went to our... so called last trip.. GENTING..
We went up by car..
Once we reached, checked in.. Left our bags in room..

Felt so different.. Compare to last year.. =(
You didnt hug me as tight as what you did to me last time..
Im waiting for it..
So, let it be......

After that, we chit-chat for awhile..
I cried..
You angry.. You jealous..
I know you still love me..
But we're not couple..
How ridiculous.. =(

I told you..
I miss you badly after we broke up..
It same goes to you..
Glad to heard that..

In the night, we went for movie..
The Last Tycoon..
Not bad to say.. =)
Although it was quite violent to me..
But i think guy will like it..

After movie, went back to room..
Bathed and lay on bed, watched tv together..
Felt so different!
Everything changed!

Another day..
meaning 15 Jan 2013..
Actually, you wanted to come back early from genting..
But i dont wish..
I wish to stay more longer with you..

I know once we come back..
I have to wake up from my dream..
Face the reality again..
=(

Try to hold you..
Finally, we stayed until 130pm..
After that, 2 plus..we reached KL..

We went to Fougasse Pastry to had our lunch or tea time..
We didnt stay longer to chat..
Once finish our meal then leave..
Unlike what we did last time..

Last time, we tried to stay with each other as long as we can..
But now....
ZERO!


After our meal, he sent me back..

Before you leave, i wish i can get a hug from you..
But nothing at all..
So, i gave you a kiss on your cheek..

I think this trip will be our last memories, our last vacation..
I will miss you..

You say, you still love me..
You say, you dont wish others come and grab me away..

But..
Can i know do you try to hold me again?
Every times, i told you..admire want me..
You say: good for you..
How hurt is it?!! Do you know?
=(

Hurt so badly!

If you feel, they come to grab me away, is good for me..
Then, i think i have no point to stay anymore, right?

Please hold me...
I just want you only..

I miss you, EJ.. =(

Memories..

Today we went to mid valley..
We went there to had our lunch - popeye's
He bought the vouchers..

We walked around..
Felt so different..
First time we went out but with different position..
Im not your girlfriend anymore..
You're not mine as well..

I missed the day when you proposed to me..
You hold my hand.
You asked: Can you be my girlfriend?
Im so happy.. Keep smiling in front of you and say yes..
I do!

Today when we walked around..
I wish to hold your hand.. Waiting you to hug me when we're going down or up by escalator..
But we cant do this anymore.. =(

I missed those days..

I stop myself from thinking sad thing..
Looking at your back, but i cant even hug you..
So near yet so far..
I miss you!

After that, you realize there is something wrong with me..
You asked me: What happened?
I told you everything..
From the beginning, i was tried to reject you..
But in my heart: im super duper hope you can hug and hold me tight.. =(

After lunch, we went to movie..
Before heading to cinema..
You hold my hand..
I was shocked!
My heart beat goes faster.. *blushing*

I miss this feeling as well..
You hugged me too..
Thank you..
I know you just want me to feel better..

In the cinema, aircond super cold!
I ask permission from you, whether i can hug your arm not..
You allowed me..
Im just hug you as tight as i can..
Long time didnt hug you..
I miss you, darling.. =(

You kept me warm..
I did it to you too..
=)

After movie, im going to meet my aunts and cousins..
You have to go as well..
At that moment, i wish i can hug you and get a kiss on my forehead from you..
This was what we did when we're couple last time..
But sadly, nothing happens at all..
We just walked into our way..
Saying goodbye then left the place..

Just a second..
Just turn my back..
Im started missing you again..

I will look back to our memories when i miss you..
Our photos..
Our conversation.
Our friendship in facebook.. There are a lot of wall posts that could remind me everything..
I miss you so much!

I know..
Now we're not couple anymore..
But yet...
We still contact each other.. although less message..
We still love each other.. although less feels..
We still care each other.. although less caring..

We still depend on each other..

God, do we still have the chance to be couple again?
or
after genting trip.. i have to put down and look forward.. Just let him go?

Will you hold my hand once again? =(

After that...

Quite a number of days, i didnt update my blog..

Is our last trip..
I think after that, i have to choose to put down everything..
Although i know i love you super much..
but the truth is you did not love as much as last time you did..

If i keep going on with my stubborn..
There will be no ending..
So i choose to keep the love towards you in the bottom of my heart..

Let time erase everything..
Keep telling myself..
I do not love you anymore..

Maybe from the beginning, people will think im stupid and im lying to myself..
But i have no choice..

From the start, i chose to end..
At the end, i have to choose to adapt..

Anyway, these few days, im so happy..
Thank you for your accompany..
After our trip, i will try not to find you so often..

Fight for my future..

Im hoping..
You will still love me in one day..
=)

Can i find a corner that is without your shadow?

The forth day..
You're not here with me..

Yesterday, we met..
I gave everything back to you..
I kept only your pillow..
Pillow accompany me every night..
It allows me to feel that you're always there for me..

Indeed, i am still miss you a lot..

I wish i can leave this world..
Do you know that every moment, every second, every minute i cant stop thinking about you..
Even now, every single corner.. i can think of us..

My house, my room, my living room, my study room, my kitchen, my car..
One utama shopping center, sunway pyramid, sunway university..

I really wish i can find a corner that is without your shadow..

Today morning i did it..
I didnt cry or woke up suddenly...
But in my heart, im still miss you all the time..

Even in my dream..
I dreamt of going vacation with you..
How sweet it is..
But it is just a dream..
Haiz..

Darling, i miss you..

I wish i can hug your tightly now..
I wish i still can feel your love..

Today morning got your message..
Felt so happy..
Thank you..

I wish i still can take care of you..
I wish i still can do everything with you..
I wish you are still mine..

God, do i have this chance again?
It is hurt!
But im still willing to got him back..
Love is more than hate..

imy ily

失去你的一两天..

第1天的时候，多么地希望再次收到你一早会发给我的信息..
也许已经习惯了..
一点都不想失去你..
可是事实却不能不面对..

事实是---你根本就不爱我了

第1天..

今天的你去了怡保..
心想你不会信息我了..
谁知在下午的3点钟,我竟然意外地受到了你的信息..
一刚开始，我心想你是不是信息错人了..
可是，我就不管3721地开始和你信息..
因为我实在太想你了..

虽然，信息会迟回复，可是好过没回复..
我依然等待着..
晚上的时候，多么希望你会打给我..
可是，还是想了就算..
我太想你了..

今天虽然咸鱼一直陪在身旁..
也第1次在你面前哭得稀里哗啦..
只因我的心太痛了..

第1次，得知自己心爱的男人还喜欢之前的女孩..
这是多么伤人的话..
简直是令我痛不欲生..


1月3日的早晨5点40分..
我突然惊醒了..
我突然想起你了..
我的心痛又来了..
我已经失去你了..
我又哭了..


今天，我比昨天更想你..
一起身，就看看电话..
以为还会有你的信息..
可是今天一整天都没有..
担心你是否已到了槟城..
所以，唯有透过朋友去探听..
知道你安全抵达，心就定了些..

一直好想知道，这两天，你是不是都和她聊天呢？
都聊什么内容？
原来我还是在乎的..
可是心却不好受..

今天多谢咸鱼的陪伴..
让我少了些寂寞..
让我知道被疼爱的感觉..
让我知道被保护的感觉..

谢谢你..
也许这段日子，我还不能完全放下他..
你给些时间我吧..


真想打给他..
问候下他..
我好想他啊!


明天就把所有衣服给回你了..
太多回忆了..
多到，我根本不想去忘记..


你知道吗?
我为什么每晚都那么迟睡和为什么睡不着吗?
第1-- 我很想你
第2-- 我需要你
第3-- 我很爱你


这3个原因足以证明
我是多么地不想失去你

只可惜我需要面对现实



我只能说
我好想你
我好爱你!